Our society is obsessed with being busy. If your calendar is not full, you are the enemy. A part of the chosen few who live outside of a culture where we all love to complain about how much work we are doing, what is required of us, and what we are trying to do to meet the ever-growing demands and expectations of others.
Everyone is a different kind of “busy.” My kind of busy is that I work six days a week and I rarely have time to read. Some may find that they need more time for self-care, for family, for studying, to be by themselves for hours a week in order to continue with being their best selves. All I can say is: do what you need to do to be the best you. Don’t feel guilty for not being as “busy” as others or for feeling overwhelmed even if your workload is smaller than your friends.
More often than not, daily conversations seem to turn into the “Who’s more stressed?” game.
“Oh, you have two papers? My basement flooded, I have 3 midterms tomorrow, and I forgot to go grocery shopping.”
“Oh really? I also forgot to grab my prescriptions and I haven’t done laundry in two weeks.”
“Wow, that sucks! I have to miss a shift at work because of a doctor’s appointment and then I have to buy an extra book for class and now I’ll be extra broke.”
Newsflash to everyone: We’re not all trying to qualify for the 2014 Stress Olympics here. This isn’t some sick competition where one can decide who gets more pity, sympathy, or empathy. Or even who deserves to be hailed as someone incredibly organized and efficient, always adding more to their schedules, seeming to break all rules of time and space and sleep.
No one owes you anything. You’re not entitled to something just because you’re hitting the marks you’re supposed to be. You don’t deserve a good grade just because you turn in the homework every time. Please show me one truly successful person who has gotten to the top by constantly cutting corners, complaining to others about their work, and getting to their goals without a struggle.
Example A: After five hours of sleep, I walked into a classroom to begin a lesson. I was right on time after sitting on a delayed train and frantically trying to finish an assignment at the same time. I had just spilled coffee all over my notes. But instead of complaining, I stood in front of the classroom and taught the material.
I left the classroom and no one knew about what my morning was like. No one needed to know. What would have been the point of me sharing? Receiving a few "that sucks" from my students and feeling pleased because someone recognized that I'm sort of champion for making it through that hellish morning?
I would have loved to have someone make me feel better about those events, but I stopped myself because things like that happen to people every day. They're minor bumps in the road, and there's no reason to stop and recognize them only to make them a bigger deal when you can move forward with only a few lurches.
Trust me. Do this next time. You might feel even better than getting a "that sucks" thrown your way.
Finally, I have one last thought to share: You have to actually do things to get to your goal. The more you complain about your stresses, the more time you are wasting in terms of getting there. Less talk, more action.
Oh, you want to be a writer? You should probably be trying to produce pages each week instead of complaining to your friends over tacos after last night’s rager that you just “can’t find a muse these days.”
You’d like to work for the government but you refuse to study for your Poli Sci exam because you’d rather sleep until noon? Forget about that internship you were hoping for. Remember how you need a 3.5? Your experiences on your resume won't hide the fact you've been slipping since sophomore year because all your friends have a don't care attitude about school and you've joined them.
We’re not in Kansas (AKA high school) anymore people. This is the real world. And you can’t run away from work, extend deadlines, or complain to mom and dad to get you somewhere. If for whatever reason you’ve been getting away with cutting corners, you’ll have your head handed to you on a plate one day.
We are all capable of reaching what we strive for if we put in the time and effort to get to wherever "there" is. You don't "deserve" to reach anything if you talk about successes but never achieve them.
As a college sophomore, I find that all of the bits and pieces I need to fix, accomplish, and attain before I graduate and move on to a job are absolutely overwhelming. I could cry right now thinking about it. I'm even tempted to go wallow a bit more. And I'm not saying that you shouldn't wallow, but you should probably work more than you wallow. So I'm going to pick up my books, crack them open, really read them (not skim), and gain some knowledge. Because I'm going to be somewhere big some day.
I refuse to be a gold medalist in the 2014 stress olympics. You might consider it too.
