Sally Mann's Lecture and Why My Life Revolves Around Death

Two evenings ago I had the great pleasure and unbelievable opportunity to listen to a lecture by Sally Mann, an American photographer whose work focuses on death and decay. Going into the lecture, I was prepared to listen for two hours about how she processed her photos and what her subjects were.

Instead, I was privy to a reading of her memoir, the last 10,000 words to be exact, a deeply thoughtful section that worked its way through discussing the death of her parents, the discoveries of her family history, and her reflections on her work as a whole. During her lecture, Mann was no longer just a photographer, but a human on the deepest level: reflective, emotional, and raw.

Sitting next to the lovely Anam Merchant in the second row

Death has been more of a prominent subject in my life since the beginning of this school year. It's something I never really gave much thought to in high school. But as I've begun to form new friendships and cultivate even more knowledge in my classes, there seems like there is so much to lose the further I move forward in life.

One of my favorite quotes from the evening that Sally said is, "Death as an artistic theme always presents as a self-portrait." Even if we try to create with loss in mind, it always relates back to how we sense things, perceive things, and reflect. 

When I write, I write for myself first. I'm sure this will change as I continue to progress as a writer, but I've always thought as art as more selfish than selfless. Art is what we leave behind for others to remember us by. As much as none of us want to be judged by what stays when we leave, it is inevitable. Mann quoted Ezra's Pound's Canto 81 during her talk, which fits well with the idea judgement after death: 

What thou lovest well remains, 

                                           the rest is dross 

What thou lov'st well shall not be reft from thee 

What thou lov'st well is thy true heritage 

Whose world, or mine or theirs 

                           or is it of none? 

What we love will remain: our art, our relationships, our words. Death is supposed to trivialize everything, but does it ever really do this? I think that it expands everything. When we are faced with death, we should follow Mann's other important assertion that our lives should be spent be trying to get better at living, loving, and seeing. And so when we create anything, especially with death in mind, we are expanding ourselves in the best way possible.

Death fascinates me and I think that it is quite unfortunate that the only way we can experience death is through mourning. It is an unthinkable event we cannot pass through. But that makes death this great theme to create around. Lots of great things come from ambiguity, from grayness, from the gap between what we know and what we cannot understand. 

Looking into the future, I can see myself being endlessly inspired by death. I've always wanted to know who would come to my funeral, what words would be said, what people would remember about me, the photos that would hang on the poster board at the memorial service. But I don't think I'll ever write about those things. I think I'll write about how we face death everything day, what it means to grieve, and when we decide that we are ready to leave. As Proust reminds us, "It is grief that develops the powers of the mind."