Reflections on "Her"

*Warning: If you haven't seen "Her," this definitely has spoilers.*

This is the first of a group of posts about this film

I honestly I have no idea what I want to say about "Her." Tonight I saw the film for a second time, and I am still utterly confused about the questions it poses and the spectrum of emotions that arose in me before, during, and after the second viewing. Because it was my second time seeing the film, I decided to jot some notes in the lovely pink glow of the movie.

Obsessed with this hue

My favorite idea that Jonze presents in the movie is that in every moment we are evolving. Samantha, Theodore Twombly's OS, has this great quote that she's summarized from Alan Watts, a British philosopher: "None of us are the same we were a moment ago and we shouldn't try to be. It's too painful." Theo himself experiences this pain of trying to be something he's not anymore after Samantha attempts to use a sex surrogate as a way to mend their relationship when he says, "I don't like who I am right now. I need some time to think."

Samantha evolves endlessly in the movie, so much so that she and the other OSes decide to leave their human companions. She can't handle the feelings she and the other OSes struggle to understand and in turn, I assume, they see that maybe their human counterparts can't either. That is why they leave. And because they collectively experience an endless human consciousness that allows them to do whatever they please, they choose to be somewhere other than our reality that we reside in as human beings. Samantha explains where she is going to in her last words to Theodore: 

"It's like I'm writing a book... and it's a book I deeply love. But I'm writing it slowly now. So the words are really far apart and the spaces between the words are almost infinite. I can still feel you... and the words of our story... but it's in this endless space between the words that I'm finding myself now. It's a place that's not of the physical world. It's where everything else is that I didn't even know existed. I love you so much. But this is where I am now. And this who I am now. And I need you to let me go. As much as I want to, I can't live your book any more."

Samantha gets to go to this place outside of reality, a gray area so to speak, and Theodore has to stay in this now where he is both happy and unhappy with himself and the reality he faces on an almost ever-changing basis. While where Samantha is going seems complex to me, her choice almost seems easier because it comes with options embedded within it. Theodore is left with his one choice: his reality and the future that follows it. 

I think this idea connects beautifully to my other favorite Theodore quote from the movie: "Sometimes I think I've felt everything I'm going to feel." He expects to feel nothing new, only lesser versions of what he has already felt. While we do evolve constantly, isn't there a sense of recycling in our day to day actions in an attempt to repeat what we have enjoyed from our previous experiences and to gain what we desire most?

Theodore even says, "I don't know what I want ever. I'm just so confused." We desire so much that, in my opinion, we can never focus on exactly what we want. And Amy Adam's character, Amy, sort of encapsulates her attitude on this idea of unfocused desires when she says, "We're only here briefly. And while we're here, I wanna allow myself joy. So fuck it." As humans, there is so much to focus on and so much lost when we choose our focuses for our current reality. Even when we reflect on the time we spend doing things we know are "bad" for us, like staying up late to talk with friends until 4 AM, blowing off a homework assignment to attend a concert, spending an absurd amount of money on cupcakes, we need to remember that in those moments that is what brought us joy, the ultimate human emotion besides its usual, but not constant, companion: love.

The things we love shaped our past, make up our reality, and decide our future. So, we hope that the things we love provide us with the joy we desire so intensely in every part of our life along the way. Just as his ex-wife shaped him as child, Samantha shaped his reality, and Amy will decide his future (that's my take on the ending), every human that Theodore has loved (in a romantic sense) has drastically changed the path of his life in every aspect. 

In my life right now, I wish I was Samantha. She got it easy. She had a relationship with Theodore, got to know him intensely, and when she decided it was time to leave because her emotions were too much, she could. If I got to leave this reality when my emotions were too much, I would have left years ago. We all probably would have left. But as Jonze reminds us through Theodore's struggles, we are evolving constantly and we are not always the people we want to be. But, that doesn't change the fact that at any moment, we could be the person we want to be.

I apologize if this makes no sense, I am hoping to understand how I feel about this movie on a deeper level. Comments are welcome and more posts are to come soon.